Halloween! Monster Mash
Let me spare you the usual rant about the day, it's origins and it's history. Suffice it to say hallow's eve or sauween or whatever is not evil. It's just not, so shut up. If a kid dressed in a $7.99 Casper suit and plastic mask from King Soopers scares you into the thought that you or your family might be posessed and therefore go to hell, you need to find a new church.
I remember growing up in a church environment and we could have halloween, but it was a "Bible Halloween!" Praise Jesus. You could dress up as your favorite bible character. Well, being a good christian boy, I wanted to dress up as Jesus.. Nope. No can do. That one is not allowed. Okay, well, I love history: How about Pontius Pilate? Ummm, you know what, No! Son of a b,,,, okay, how about moses, he's cool right? Nope, sorry son, we don't believe what those Jews believe! But he's IN the bible.. Yeah, so is Lucifer and no, you can't dress as him either!!!
What a crock. We got to the halloween party, threw on some Petra and rocked out. They even banned Monster Mash from being played. We were given strict rules, on paper, of what was acceptable "Fake halloween cheer" and what was not. What a crock! Everyone there looked like a stray disciple. Not a named one, although I hear there were many peters and pauls in the day. A chick I knew, Charity (no, seriously, she was the pastors daughter), she came dressed as Mary. I thought the Catholics down the street, who were praying by the way, just might come in and give us a few 'Hail Mary's' for that. But then Charity took me aside and lifted up her gown and showed a garter.... now I was like 14 at the time. So, that was big! She said. I am actually Jezebel. Damn, Woo Hoo! This was my kind of sinner. We all danced our puritan best and shared mighty fine punch. Chris Brock taught me how to wash my hands like a doctor and I will never forget that. And then it was over. 10'oclock. Time to go home pray; giving thanks for good fellowship.
Now, at our church, you had to wait in the parking lot for your parents to pick you up. Everyone says goodbye and thank you. By the way, none of my youth group were religious. I suspect most of them were there just for the cookies and the odd game of foosball on wednesday nights. Well, Charity and I snuck behind the parking lot and kissed. She looked at my robe and my fake beard and said : "Wow, you really are a good christian boy. Which disciple are you supposed to be?" We kissed akwardly as 14 yr olds do, and I replied: "Well, 'Jezebel,' I am actually Barnabus, the other guy on a cross that day!" We laughed and and went out to meet our parents knowing we had just earned more "hell points." I got in the truck and my dad said: "So, how'd it go?" "It was fine" I said," mighty fine punch!" As we drove home, I was in the seat kinda singing along to what was on KOOL105, the oldies station my dad ALWAYS listened to. It was Monster Mash! Apparently my dad didn't get the memo. Now, he's goin' to hell too. Nice. Damn you Sheldon Allman (writer and performer of said song), now we're all goin' to hell. It was at that point I knew I had to be a songwriter!
I remember growing up in a church environment and we could have halloween, but it was a "Bible Halloween!" Praise Jesus. You could dress up as your favorite bible character. Well, being a good christian boy, I wanted to dress up as Jesus.. Nope. No can do. That one is not allowed. Okay, well, I love history: How about Pontius Pilate? Ummm, you know what, No! Son of a b,,,, okay, how about moses, he's cool right? Nope, sorry son, we don't believe what those Jews believe! But he's IN the bible.. Yeah, so is Lucifer and no, you can't dress as him either!!!
What a crock. We got to the halloween party, threw on some Petra and rocked out. They even banned Monster Mash from being played. We were given strict rules, on paper, of what was acceptable "Fake halloween cheer" and what was not. What a crock! Everyone there looked like a stray disciple. Not a named one, although I hear there were many peters and pauls in the day. A chick I knew, Charity (no, seriously, she was the pastors daughter), she came dressed as Mary. I thought the Catholics down the street, who were praying by the way, just might come in and give us a few 'Hail Mary's' for that. But then Charity took me aside and lifted up her gown and showed a garter.... now I was like 14 at the time. So, that was big! She said. I am actually Jezebel. Damn, Woo Hoo! This was my kind of sinner. We all danced our puritan best and shared mighty fine punch. Chris Brock taught me how to wash my hands like a doctor and I will never forget that. And then it was over. 10'oclock. Time to go home pray; giving thanks for good fellowship.
Now, at our church, you had to wait in the parking lot for your parents to pick you up. Everyone says goodbye and thank you. By the way, none of my youth group were religious. I suspect most of them were there just for the cookies and the odd game of foosball on wednesday nights. Well, Charity and I snuck behind the parking lot and kissed. She looked at my robe and my fake beard and said : "Wow, you really are a good christian boy. Which disciple are you supposed to be?" We kissed akwardly as 14 yr olds do, and I replied: "Well, 'Jezebel,' I am actually Barnabus, the other guy on a cross that day!" We laughed and and went out to meet our parents knowing we had just earned more "hell points." I got in the truck and my dad said: "So, how'd it go?" "It was fine" I said," mighty fine punch!" As we drove home, I was in the seat kinda singing along to what was on KOOL105, the oldies station my dad ALWAYS listened to. It was Monster Mash! Apparently my dad didn't get the memo. Now, he's goin' to hell too. Nice. Damn you Sheldon Allman (writer and performer of said song), now we're all goin' to hell. It was at that point I knew I had to be a songwriter!
posted by Michael St. James at 10:39 AM
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